The Bubabeers

OH GOD! THE TEETH! THE TEETH!

2007-11-12T17:14:00.000-05:00

Dear Shvad,

I have left to search for a life of my own, with out your confining rules and such. I'll never prosper and flourish if left in your grasp. Feel free to claim the left and right hemispheres of my brain should they ever show up. And I leave you my scrap metal collection I kept under the floor boards for midnight snacks. And now, I will go venture across the street and into the unknown! Who knows, I may never come back.

-Vlad

P.S If you hear any screaming, please rescue me from the neighbour's chihuahua.

P.P.S I took the toaster for food on the road.

Insanigarden

2007-09-23T17:32:00.000-04:00

Vlad and Shvad are uh... being stupid as usual, *raises index finger* however, it IS the ninety-eighth post.(!) which means...
...
...
...
...
...
TWO MORE TILL THE ONE HUNDREDTH! (aka, another family reunion anyone? *thumbs up*)

S: Vlad! get off the computer! You've been on for DAYS! What are you doing anyway? This is the first time ever that you're actually on, and not eating it

V: Must. Feed. Must Feed. Must Feed.

S: AHA! you've been feeding the old folks down at the Senior's center through PayPal! I'm proud of you!

V: OH NOES! the neighbours trampled on my petunias!

S: *raises eyebrow*, you're spying on our neighbors? You're keeping an eye on our... petunias, which we don't have?

V: gotta buy a new hose, gotta buy a new fence, ARGH! Stupid neighbours! gotta buy a new dog to kill the neighbors i mean.... *turns to look at Shvad* you did NOT hear that *smiles*

S: Vlad, what are you plotting?

V: nothing! it's just this game... that is so! damn! addicting!

S: a game you say? *squint* lemme see. *pushes Vlad off her chair*

V: hey! by the way, water my flowers for me while you're there!

S: k...

*three days later*

V: Shvad, it's been three days! I really think I should get another turn at this!

S: *waves vlad away, mumbling random gibberish* aituhigbalwopery

V: okay.... *takes computer and eats it*

S: *stares wide-eyed* Hey! You ate my Chlamydias! I mean... Chamomiles...

V: *rolls eyes*

The Agendus Bookus

2007-09-06T21:26:00.000-04:00

Agendas, funny creatures they are.
Mistreated, doodled on. etc
and this is how we er.. mistreat our agendas!

Regina's agenda:

Day one: I am picked up, and stashed away.
Day two: I'm being doodled in! well, at least it's not neglect...
Day three: Doodles.. doodles.. is she ever going to do anything productive?
Day four: THESE DOODLES DON'T EVEN MAKE SENSE!
Day Five: God! it's like.. doodle rape. i feel so.. violated. I am so outta here.
Day Six: PHEW. the doodles have stopped!
Day seven: it's nice to be alone.

Shiying's agenda:

Day one: I am picked up.
Day two: just bumping around in the bag
Day three: I seem to have been thrown into a locker of some sort..
Day four: uhm.. is anyone here?
Day five: it's so dark.. and i'm so hungry... and it's cold... so.. lonely..
Day Six: i haven't seen a light in days! ... when will this end?!
Day seven: .. getting... so.. weak... carry on... without me

"happiness in a toilet bowl"

2007-09-05T17:24:00.000-04:00

First of all, let me start by saying that I, Shloob, did NOT disappear off the face of the Earth by flushing myself down the toilet. It's quite pathetic actually; I lost the password to my blogger account, so er.. yeah, couldn't update. But you must know that I was there with Voobl when she wrote the past two entries. So.... to celebrate my coming-back (WOO! PARTY IN DA HOUSE!), here's another Shvad and Vlad story, with well-deserved toilet humor.

*S is cleaning the toilet bowl and scrubbing the sides fervently*

V: Wow... you're looking flushed.

S: *glares* haha, very funny. I'm only cleaning this mess because nobody else will!

V: I don't know how to clean a toilet bowl, so you have to do it.

S: It's not hard! All you have to do is scrub! Until! The! Dirt! Is! Gone!

V: Nope, too difficult.

S: Want me to show you? It's easy

V: Uh, YOU'RE not a professional toilet cleaner! The Art of toilet cleaning requires a lot of skills, dedication, and patience! Only the greats like Molly Maid and my mother can master it!

S: You sir, are a idiot.

V: ...anyway, I'm gonna go lie on my bed and stare at the patterns in my ceiling now! Bye! *runs away so Shvad won't make her clean the toilet instead*

S: You buttwipe! Come back here!

V: Erm... What's the word I'm looking for? Oh, that's right. NO.

S: Who goes to the bathroom more? Me? Or you? *glares*

V: I have digestion issues! The metal never digests properly, so I always end up being gassy after dinner! *mumbles: and breakfast... and lunch... and brunch...*

S: Well what do you have teeth for? Jeez... *Really red in the face*

V: *pauses* Well! I'm pooped! All this talking's worked up an appetite! I think I'll go eat something now! *runs away*

S: *yells after her* You've got toilet paper stuck to your shoes!

V: huh? *looks down and trips*

S: ahaha

Vlad, Taxidermist*?

2007-09-02T19:13:00.000-04:00

*Taxidermy for those who don't know is basically the act of skinning and stuffing a dead animal. (those animals on display in museums are usually taxidermy)

*Shvad's typing away at a computer*

S: Vlad! What did you do with the computer?! it doesn't work and it's like, 10 pounds lighter! ... Did you eat it!? you sick, SICK person!
V: I did not! I stuffed it! *proud*
S: why the hell did you do that? and where are all the chips and stuff?
V: Taxidermy's an art form you know! ... and i sortamayhavekindaatetheinsides
S: Do you even know what taxidermy is?!
V: DUH, it's the act of stuffing animals!
S: ... A COMPUTER IS NOT AN ANIMAL.
V: Yes it is! it's one one mother nature's favourite creatures!
S: mother nature did not create the computer. some random dieticians did so people like us can get enough iron !
V: but.. but.. but... YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!

*Vlad runs away*

S: Sure.. go sit in a corner and cut your self, just make sure you don't eat the blade first *rolls eyes*

*munching sounds coming from the corner*

V: woopsie.. *blush*
S: Idiot.
V: But.. look at the work I did on the fridge! Genius, no?

*leads shvad to a taxidermied fridge*

S: YOU IDIOT. NOW WHERE ARE WE GOING TO PUT OUT CREAM CHEESE AND ORANGE JUICE? not to mention my tomatoes! my precious, precious tomatoes
V: but.. but.. but.. we have a year's supply of metal! *picks up some wires with a fork and proceeds to eat it, fork and all*
S: ... stop eating our utensils! and.. I. LIKE. MY. TOMATOES. *goes insane*
V: *shrugs* whatever... *continues to eat various pieces of fridge innards*

water water water

2007-08-12T17:55:00.000-04:00

*vlad sees shvad watering the lawn*

vlad: STOP! IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE! PUT DOWN THAT HOSE!
shvad: vat are you talking about? Did you take your medication today?
vlad: didn't you hear about the new law? Since we live on 1 Stupid Ave, we're only allowed to water on even days!
shvad: ...*raises index finger* first of all, 1 is an ODD number, and secondly, we live on TWO Stupid Ave, Martha Stewart lives on 1 Stupid Ave. Third of all, you are not the police, and this is YOUR house! Do you WANT to get sent to jail? And where'd you hear about that anyway?
vlad: *shrugs* Newspaper
shvad: YOU CAN READ?! GOLLY MISS MOLLY!
vlad: uh...in case you've forgotten, Stupid Ave gets newspapers in audio form. *thumbs up* And of course I can read! Your hose says "most reliable hose in the world!"**
shvad: *rolls eyes* ..mhm. * continues to water lawn* Go do something...productive. Like, clipping your toenails ...they're getting pretty long.
vlad: ....but they're only five inches long! Yours are like...six!
shvad: I applied for a toe-clipping permit last year, it should arrive ANY day now.... *mutters about the slowness of those goddamn permit people*
vlad: well IIII plan on growing them! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME! MY TOENAILS LOVE ME!

*runs away*

shvad: k.... just... pretend that didn't happen. *continues watering lawn*

*police shows up!*

vlad: STOP! IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE! AND ALL THAT IS GOOD AND TASTY! PUT DOWN THAT HOSE!
shvad: *without turning around* we had this discussion FIVE MINUTES AGO! vlad, go do something --- *turns around* whaaa? You got accepted? into the police force? and i STILL don't have my toe-nail permit?! what has this world come to??!!
vlad:*smiles smugly* hehe, i'm here to arrest all the residents of 2 Stupid Ave for illegal watering!
shvad: vlad... you live here.
vlad: ... mmm....and so do you, so what's your point?
shvad: i'll let you think about it. *continues watering lawn*

*twenty minutes later*

*sitting in a jail cell*

vlad: ...what are you in for Mac?
Mac: ... iunno, ask PC, he has a spreadsheet. I just take photos! with my built in webcam! *thumbs up*
PC: *sigh* let me calculate how much time you wasted. *punches in numbers* five......
...
..
..
YEARS.
Mac: what are YOU in for?
Vlad: oh, I arrested myself for illegal watering. *shrugs* 4 years.... i'll be out in no time.

*Mac and PC stares in shock, and burst out laughing*

Mac: this calls for a .... PHOTO! *thumbs up*
PC: alright, I'm pulling that thing out of your system. *grabs Mac's forehead, and pulls... hard*
Mac: *cries and sulks* now how am I supposed to take photos! My existence is redundant! My life is over! .... does anybody have a razor?
Vlad: no sharp objects/weapons in the cell. *thumbs up*
.

*winks*

**actually, the hose says "guaranteed to water your lawn".

hug

2007-03-19T15:44:00.000-04:00

Seriously, people, leave some comments!
and now, without further ado, i present SHVAD AND VLAD
*applause*

*vlad hugs shvad*

s: what ARE you doing
v: "hugging"
s: were those air quotes?
v: uhm...
s: ... are you STILL clinging on to me?!
v: i'm sharpening my teeth!

*shvad breaks off hug*

s: ...WHAT?
v: nothing...
s: are you lying to me?
v: ...no?
s: CONGRATS VLAD!!! you've evolved to a HUMAN's (though, still a young human) level of intellegence!!!

*hugs vlad*

v: MUAHAHAHA

*siezes opportunity to bite shvad*

s: WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!?!?!
v: *shrugs* i only hug to immobilize prey.
s: what?
v: you know, its a heck of a lot harder to bite someone when they move. and an efficent way of stopping them is to bite them

*demonstrates by hugging shvad and biting her*

s: STOP IT!!
v: see?
s: *humph* *walks away*

*vlad demonstrates how hard it is to bite moving "prey"*

s: ...what ARE you doing?
v: im showing you how hard it is to bite moving prey! now you try.

*shvad hugs vlad*
*vlad bites shvad instead*

s: HEY!
v: well, what can i say? self preservation's pretty important too.

AYE. a tale of the high seas!

2007-03-02T17:19:00.000-05:00

ARR. the good ship SS. Presso be sailing to the the isles of week's end. They be sailin the most perilous seas, the number of surviors, you could count on one hook. T'was the fabled mathematical sea. On the way, the lines o' bestfit threw 'em 'round like me rum caskets. But that be the least of them worries. There be the dreaded fraction residin' in those waves. It rises up and spits demoninators at ye. Then, it consumes and reduces yer crew. Imagine. the last thing you hear, is the sqeak of a thousand pencils.. doomed to an eternity of reducing, cross multiplying, and findin lowest common denominator. if ye survived that, there still be the scatter plot isles, the only land between the mathematical sea and the isles of week's end, inhabited by first differeneces, they'll extrapolate you, and sacrifice you to the great fraction. Aye, they be close now.

*GIT BACK YOU WORK YOU LAND-HUGGIN-BLIGE-RAT!*

..until next time. if there is one..

SHVAD DAY!!

2007-01-29T15:19:00.000-05:00

huzaah!
its shvad day in the tiny town of bubarville!!!
population: 2....BUT STILL! ITS A MIGHTY GRAND CELEMABRATION!

this is the origin of shvad day...which happened precisely ...NOW.

s: i declare today ...SHVAD DAY!!
v:watt?? since when?
s:uh...about five seconds ago *batts eyelashes*
v:hell...why not? as long as there's a vladmas.*grumbles*
s:watchu mumblin'bout FOO?
v:huh? nothing!! I WASN'T MUMBLING ABOUT HOW YOU'RE THE BIGGEST IDIOT ON THE FACE OF THIS PLANET!
s:alright then!! now help me put up streamers and decorations!
v:..and WHERE are we gonna find shvad day decorations?! its not like the dollar store prepares for shvad day like it does for christmas, and valentines day!...AND HALLOWEEN! WHICH IS THE BEST HOLIDAY EVER!ITS RIGHT UP THERE WITH VLADMAS!
s:or does it? *shifty eyes*

*and so...they trek down to the dollar store...in the nearest town*

v:since its shvad day, can i eat our car?
s:no.
v:then whats the point of shvad day?!
s:a day when all shvads gather together and celebrate in anger and destruction!
v:...what do you destroy exactly?
s: well, its obvious. vlads! DUH
v:...

*runs far far away into the kingdom of..uh...*

ANYWAY.

s: oh poo. now who's gonna set off the dangerously reactive fireworks?!

VLADMAS continued...-ishh.

2006-12-28T12:49:00.000-05:00

Intro: shvad and vlad decide to go see a movie, to be more specific, the movie "happy feet". as you will find out, shvad has short term memory loss...

*on the phone*
S: so what movie are we watching tomorrow?
V: well DUH! happy feet! GOBULAR!
S:...RIGHT...heheh, and by the way, we're walking there..
V:...VATTTTTTTT??!!!!
S:bye!

*hangs up phone*

V:*falls down to knees in typical dramatic fashion as cameras pan back and penguins fly out of trees--------wait a minute! what the hell is going on here??!!** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, GOBB, WHY??!! ...oh well, only for Happy Feet.

*next day*

V:this soup base is really lardy...*oil drips from package*
S:*shudders*
V:but thats waht makes it soooo tasty! mmm...*drools*
S:stop drooling on me!!
V:...huh? *snaps out of dream* whaaa?
S:NEVERMIND! your noodles are done.

*twenty minutes later*

S:where the hell is the beef??!!
*rummages through freezer*
*Vlad pulls out a 100-year-old package from the bottom of the freezer*
V:is this it?
S: why yes....

*a few more minutes later*

S: shit! we have to start walking soon if we're gonna reach the theatre before it turns into spring!
V:Alright alright. let me get my wallet & iPod.
S:...why didn't you bring your purse?
V: ...i have a purse?
S:..*SIGH* nevermind. you can put it in my oversized cork purse. *glares*

*ten hours later..*

*vlad sees fake santa costume on the ground*

V:WHY SANTA?!! WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE YOU???!!!
S: vlad, thats a costume.
V:sure...thats what they all say.

*vlad goes into a deep state of denial*

*some time later*

V:are we there yet!! its been like, 10 years!!
S:It's only been 10 hours, and we're only halfway there...
oh god, here comes a highway intersection. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!
V:alright alright. i'm running , i'm----TRUCK!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhh

*5 long hours later*

S: My. Face. Is. Going. To. Fall. Off.
V:dont' faces grow back?
S:well, maybe YOURS does, buy mine doesn't!

*Vlad touches her face to make sure she still has 3 eyes, 2 noses, 2 mouthes, and 4 ears.

S:i have a question, where would you get earphones made for 4 ears?
v:...i make them. *smiles*. i just use a hammer and go *bonk!* and hammer 2 sets together!
S:..brilliant.
V:ingenious isn't it?

*5 long dragging hours later*

V:WOOHOO. we're finally here.
S:finally! do you know what we just did? We trekked all the way from my icecube-of-a-house, across the perilous roads of death, the hungry vicious polar bears, and the North Pole (where we got cookies from santa [!!]) , arrived at our pathetic destination!!! we've just acheived the impossible!
V:...yo mean we crossed roads, walked past some squirrels, got free cookies from the girl scouts, and got our faces frozen off to reach the theatre?
S:..in a nut shell, yes. dont' try to destroy my dreams of becoming a poet.
V:..you want to be a poet??!! *laughs ass off*
S: *glares*

*after many "WTF moments" @ the movies*

S:alright, let's walk home.
V: what??!! not again! we have to trek all the way from this pathetic starting point across the perilous roads of death, the hungry vicious polar bears, and the North Pole (where we got cookies from santa [!!]) , and arrive at your ice-cube-of-a-house??!!!
S:i thought you said those were "squirrels".

all i want for vladmas is the right-hemishpere of my brain!!

2006-12-25T14:40:00.000-05:00

edited by shloob: WELL, I WAS GONNA POST! BUT SOMEONE BEAT ME TO IT!
ARAGH. -posted @ 10:27pm.
-----------------------------------
well, well, well.
look what shloob DIDNT post
*kills shloob for not posting*

ANYWAYS
vladmas special!!!!!
dance?
nah.

s: WHAT IS THIS?!
v: what?
s: THIS
v: OHHHH... haha...
s: ha?
v: its uhm... my brain trap.
s: brain trap?
v: to trap my brain as he come back for the picture books i left out for him
s: ...WHAT?
v: just dont step on it!

*hours pass*
*vlad is seen dragging lumps of dirt in to the house*

s: WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?!
v: i'm making the traditional vladmas pile!
s: vladmas pile... you know what, dont even explain to me.
v: WELL..-
s: i said DONT
v: FINE!

*large dirt mound is found sitting in the kitchen sink*

s: *SIGH* vlad!!
v: whaaaaaatt?!
s: WHY IS THERE A DIRT MOUND IN THE KITCHEN SINK?!
v: traditional vladmas pile.
s: here, FINE, explain the pile to me!
v: well, a traditional vladmas always has a vladmas pile. and it's plaved in the kitchen sink. there are 5 sticks of dynamite in the pile. every day for 5 days, i'll light a stick of dynamite on fire. when the celing falls in, a wish will come true!
s:...celing...falling...IN?!
v: well, it's pretty rare, usually, the windows just explode
s: window? EXPLODE?

*shvad seethes*
*vlad slowly backs away*
*2 hours later, a loud explosion is heard*
*shvad attempts to control her rage*
*vlad accidentally set the neighbour's dog on fire...again*
*night time*

s: vlad, where are you going?
v: to check all my traps and then go o bed.
s: all?
v: well, we have my brain trap, my pink leprechaun trap, my 8 flying chickens trap, and my milk and cookies trap.
s:...

*everyone is asleep*
*loud SNAP noise is heard*

brain: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
v: GOTCHA!!!

*shvad rubs her eyes sleepily*

s: whaaa?
v: I GOT MY RIGHT HEMISPHERE OF MY BRAIN BACK!!
s:...how you gonna get him in you head?
v: same..*sounds of struggle*...way...*more sounds*..that..*loud crashing noises* ..he got OUT!
s: i see...and that would be?
v: my nose of course
brain: no! no! i beg of you! dont send me into your dark abyss known as your head!!
v:...

*brain escapes as vlad attempts to ponder without a brain*

makes gestures

2006-12-19T17:10:00.000-05:00

89th post!
you know that that means!
11 more till the 100th special!
=)

anyways.
here. vlad learns how to make fun of shloob in sign language!

v: *makes gestures* (hello s-h-v-a-d)
s: what?
v: *makes gestures* (i'm signing!)
s: ...what?!
v: *makes gestures* (SIGN LANGUAGE!!!!)
s: ... are you using sign language?
v: *makes gestures* (yes)
s:...oh
v: *makes gestures* (you stupid fat monkey!)
s: ...was that a monkey gesture in there?
v: *makes gestures* (you bite moose!)
s:...WHHAA?!!!
v: *makes gestures* (you're very, very stupid)
s: HEY! I UDNERSTOOD THAT ONE!!!!

*chases after vlad*

s: WHY YOU LITTLE-!! COME BACK HERE!!!
v: *makes gestures* (NEVERRRR!!!!!)
s: what are you?! mute?!
v: *makes gestures* (PSH! no! i just like sign language)
s: what ever...

*shvad lulls vlad into a false sense of security and then grabs vlad ties her hands together*
*vlad attempts to sign with her hands tied together*

the very beginnings

2006-11-06T17:06:00.000-05:00

way back when. vlad used to be smart, shvad was obsessed with stonesour and ther was noone to blog about it. so you might have hear d part of the story. but not all of it.

okay. tis is what you SHOULD know.

shvad sees her psychiatrist, vlad. (and oh god, this cannot be good. )

vlad: ADMIT THAT UR OBSESSED WITH THROUGH GLASS BY STONESOUR!!!
shvad: i only have 1 song by them. sheesh, get a life and do something about that face.
vlad:*gasp, slaps shvad* you take that back!!! my face is just fine! *touches her face, making sure she still has 3 eyes, 3 noses, and 2 mouths).
shvad:actually, one of ur mouths is missing. *chuckles while adopting snooty expression*
vlad:THE HORRORS!!
shvad: go see a doctor, oh, wait, YOU ARE ONE!!! hahaha. *sips tea from daintly little cup*
vlad:lets just get back the the issue here!
shvad: i told you i am NOT obsessed with through glass!

*vlad plays through glass on her computer, shvad's feet start tapping, and she starts singing along*

shvad: oh no!! wats happening?!

5 minutes later...

*shvad is tied down onto a board with vlad standing over her cackling like an evil scientist, no, she IS an evil scientist*

vlad: now i can finally switch my brain with urs!! hahahahahahahaha!
shvad:ur mental, im outta here. *gets up and goes*
vlad: but wait! ur were supposed to be strapped down!
shvad: ur knot-tying skills are TERRIBLE scout!!
vlad:*looks down at her shoes and sighs*

well okay. there's the beginning. but you don't know the WHOLE story. yet.

*shavd runs awya into the dark streets*
*vlad chases shvad through the streets*

s: YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME!!!
v: *wheeze wheeze* YES *wheeze* I WILL *more wheezing*
s: tch. no you wont!

*vlad proceeds to run into a tree branch *

s: OH MY GAWD!! VLAD!!!!

*pause*

s: meh.

*continues running*
*vlad gets up*

v: WHAA?! wha ha-ha-happened?!
s: *still running away* NEVER I SAY! NEVERRRRR!!
v: but, je ne comprende pas!!!
s: FRENCH?!
v: what ARE tu parles about?!
s: why are you speaking in part french?
v: QUOI?!
s: oh nevermind. lets get you to a hospital.
v: une hospital?! whats wrong avec moi?
s: you're talking in french
v: NOOOO! tu as a mistake!
s: what ever.

*ambulance*
*doctors d tests*

doctors: umm.. was she retarded before her "accident"?
s: WHAT?! she's a freakin' genius! she was my psychiatrist!
doctors.: well dow she does.... so, who's gonna take care of her?
s: what?! dont look at me!

*silence*

s: FINE! FINE!

and so, vlad and shvad were formed. dont even ask me to explain the metal eating and stuff...

punctumacation

2006-10-15T17:23:00.000-04:00

v: bananas(bananas)
s: bananas?
v: bananas(bananas)
s: BANANAS?!
v: bananas(bananas)
s: WHAT?!
v: bananas(bananas)
s: WHAT A BOUT BANANAS?!
v: bananas are bananas(bananas)
s: what the hell are you doing talking about bananas? don't they, like, clog up ur digestive system?
v: bananas(bananas)
s: ARGH!
v: bananas(bananas)
s: hey(bananas,bananas,bananas) are you using bananas as punctuation (bananas)
v: WHY YES I AM (bananas)
s: SWEET(bananas)
v:HELLOGOODBYE(hellogoodbye)
s:what(bananas,bananas)
v: hellogoodbye (hellogoodbye)
s: hey (bananas,bananas,bananas) have you changed it to hellogoodbye (hellogoodbye)
v: MONKEYS (monkeys)

*************************************************

BUY HELLOGOODBYE'S CD!!!! 10 BUCKS AT HMV! YO. IF U DON'T BUY IT, UR A FREAKING square.

HAPPY ONE YEAR...and18 days

2006-09-16T15:05:00.000-04:00

yep. i was just going through the archives when i realised thatwe had completely passed by one whole year! so now we celebrate one year... and 18 days.

if you have read the post done on october 17, 2005, then you will understand it. if not. i suggest you go read it.

*door bell*

v: COMING!!!

*opens door*

v: RIGHTY! you've come back!
righty: actually...
v: wait. where's lefty? u didnt find lefty?! u KILLED LEFTY?! U ATE LEFTY WHILE YOU WERE RUNNING THROUGH THE JUNGLE BECAUSE U GUYS HAD NO MORE FOOD. YOU CANNIBAL!!!
righty: actually. lefty's fine. lefty's chosen a new lifestyle *mutters* and I have chosen a new owner. i've come back for my cd player and my tv.
v: oh...

oh lord, not another shvad and vlad story

2006-09-11T17:00:00.000-04:00

ok, this is the setting here, shvad and vlad are in a mall, that's right, i said mall. want me to say it again? ok. fine. MALL. oh god, it doesn't even look like a word anymore. anyway, here's the story.

v:what is this place? it looks vaguely familiar, and,..hey! i have that shirt!
s:the one that says "i'm stupid, but what are you?" ..? yeah...okay.
v:yeah! that one! hehe, i love that shirt..
s:mhm...we're in a mall, and we're going birthday present shoppin'.
v:oh goody! .....uh..shvad?
s:yes?
v:who's birthday is it?
s:ugh, you moron, it's ur cousin vlan's!!!
v: ZOMG! i completely forgot about that!!what am i gonna get him?!
s:well, a watch might work.
v:yeah, but i might eat it on the way back home..its metal you know.
s:*rolls eyes* wooden clogs?
v:nah, if i forget they're wood, i might eat them, and then...you know.
s:know what?
v:*whispers* the d word..
s:d word (b.t.w, shvad knew what the word was, she just wanted vlad to say it, pretty sneaky huh?) ? what d word?
v:DIARRHEA!!!!! DIARRHEA!!!!

(people around her turn around and look at vlad in a weird way)

v:now look what you made me do!
s:hehe
v:hey! i like that shirt! i can totally get it for my cousin!!!
s:uh..vlad..
v:stop contradicting me! i can do what i want!
s: gahhhhhh, fine!(b.t.w, the shirt is the exact same one that vlad has on, but she's too stupid to notice)

***the moral of the story is, always read your t-shirts before you go out and buy the exact same one***

vlad... well. makes sense!

2006-09-07T17:37:00.000-04:00

s: so... how was your day?
v: I DONT HVE A SECRET!! just fine.
s: okay spit it out
v: spit what out?
s: your secret
v: I DONT HAVE A SECRET!
s: yes you do. every time some one mentions the word secret-
v: I DONT HAVE A SECRET!
s: *sigh* and when they ask you a question you shout-
v: I DONT HAVE A SECRET!
s: *SIGH* exactly
v: shout what?
s: "I DONT HAVE A SECRET!"
v: you have a secret?!
s: ARAGH! just tell me your secret!!!!!
v:I DONT HAVE A SECRET!... well if i told you, it wouldnt be a secret anymore. it'd just be... a mainly unknown fact...
s: well true... OMG! u made sense
v: i always do!
s: ... well? secret?
v: fine if you're so insistant.

*long pause*

v: *whispers* i bit your chair... *giggle*
s: THATS YOUR SECRET?! IT TOOK ME THAT LONG TO FIND YOUR SECRET?! THATS WHY I HIRED A PERSON TO FOLLOW YOU?! IMA GONNA KILL YOU!!!
v: no you're not cus im jumping out the windooooooowwwwwww
s: you idiot thats not a window!

...there are no words to describe this.

2006-08-24T15:03:00.000-04:00

this is too weird to introduce so you figure it out for your self.

sloob: look at the picture i took of my self!
voobl: ARAGH!!!!!

*voobl turns into a puddle of... well... voobl*

s: AHAHAHAHA
v: blub blub blub blub... (translation: i'll get my revenge)
s:hehe what will happen after your liquid stage?
v: blub (traslation: vapour)

*shloob takes out the picture*
*hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss*
*there's a cloud of voobl floating around*

s: my work here is done.

*shloob goes home*
*shloob sees little bits of voobl all over her window as "condensastion"*

s: ewwwww

*shloob gets out sqeegee and wipes off the bits*
*shloob sees a pair of eyes on her sqeegee*
*shloob drops sqeegee into her trashcan*
*shloob falls asleep*
*shloob's dad comes home and sees the eyes*
*shloob hears a loud scream*

s: *still sleepy* WHAAAA??
shloob's dad: why are there EYES in the trash can?
s: ohh....those...
shloob's dad: yes "those"
s: heh funny story about that....
shloob's dad: just get rid of them!
s: ugggggggg fine... tomorrow

*sloob goes back to sleep*

v: SHLOOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
s: what?
v: yea i need some of my eyes back
s: some?
v: they were only the SEEING part of my eyes.
s: ohh..

*alligators crawl on the streets, penguins fly around*

s: yea... they're just in the trash can...
v: ewwww you know how many germs are in trash cans?!!!! like vibro parahaemotyticus! it's a bacterium in the cholera family commonly found in sea food, it usually only causes diarrhea often with cramping, nausea, vomiting and fever and while uncommon, it can lead to deadly infection.
s: wait a minute.... voobl? say vomit? THIS IS A DREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*wakes up*

s: whew what a horrible dream, it was like my subconscious was tryint to teach me something...

*phone rings*

v: GIMME MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
s: ugh they're in the trash
v: THE TRASH?! dont you know germs like vibro parahaemotyticus! it's a bacterium in the cholera family commonly found in sea food, it usually only causes diarrhea often with cramping, nausea, barfing and fever and while uncommon, it can lead to deadly infection. and i know you throw sea food into your trash!!! what are you trying to do? kill me?!
s: ugh is this a dream
v: no. slap your self

*shloob slaps herself*

s: how does that help?
v: well you didnt ask for help did you?
s: grrr.
v: look, just gimme my eyes.
s: what a horrible pun.
v: what?
s:ur pun
v: what pun?
s: 'look, just gimme my eyes'
v: that wasnt meant as a pun now just GIMME MY EYES!!!
s:fine... i'll be around i a couple of minutes

*a couple minutes later*

s: here take ur eyes
v: umm... why is there a SQEEGEE attatched to them?
s: heh....
v: *sigh* i dont wanna know
s: alrighty then.
v: ewwwwwwww these smell like... turtle!
s:... heh...
v: ur trying to give me salmonella!!! you want me to develop diarrhea, fever, and abdominal cramps 12 to 72 hours after infection!!!
s: god... what is with you and bacterial infections?
v: what...? what'd i say?

some stuff...

2006-08-18T10:56:00.000-04:00

there's a fine line between genius and insanity. we walked the line. but then we tripped...

before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. that way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

shvad goes mental

2006-08-16T16:31:00.000-04:00

from my meetings with shvad and vlad, i say they're completely and utterly insane. heres one of their many "issues". decide for ur self.

shvad sees her psychiatrist, vlad. (and oh god, this cannot be good. )

vlad: ADMIT THAT UR OBSESSED WITH THROUGH GLASS BY STONESOUR!!!
shvad: i only have 1 song by them. sheesh, get a life and do something about that face.
vlad:*gasp, slaps shvad* you take that back!!! my face is just fine! *touches her face, making sure she still has 3 eyes, 3 noses, and 2 mouths).
shvad:actually, one of ur mouths is missing. *chuckles while adopting snooty expression*
vlad:THE HORRORS!!
shvad: go see a doctor, oh, wait, YOU ARE ONE!!! hahaha. *sips tea from daintly little cup*
vlad:lets just get back the the issue here!
shvad: i told you i am NOT obsessed with through glass!

*vlad plays through glass on her computer, shvad's feet start tapping, and she starts singing along*

shvad: oh no!! wats happening?!

5 minutes later...

*shvad is tied down onto a board with vlad standing over her cackling like an evil scientist, no, she IS an evil scientist*

vlad: now i can finally switch my brain with urs!! hahahahahahahaha!
shvad:ur mental, im outta here. *gets up and goes*
vlad: but wait! ur were supposed to be strapped down!
shvad: ur knot-tying skills are TERRIBLE scout!!
vlad:*looks down at her shoes and sighs*

now, i'll give you 5 minutes to decide.

..
i rest my case.

love,

shloob

the lady in the stupid

2006-08-11T13:25:00.000-04:00

hey dudes and dudettes.

well, this is a funny story.

at my history class, this lady was looking for a piano teacher for her daughter. so she, thinking that i'm actually GOOD at piano, asked for my teacher's number. now, don't get me wrong, i have an awesome teacher, but i can't play the piano to save my life, or remember things well either. ANYWAY, i kept on forgetting everyday, for about...4 weeks..hehe( hey, its not my fault that i can't remember for beans, i blame it on genes, no dumbass, not the ones you wear, the ones that CREATED you). and then finally, after wasting 5 minutes of my precious time looking for the number, she says " i'll think about it...you can give me the number tomorrow"

...
....
...
am i the only one that sees something wrong with this? ( shut up everyone)
ur the one that asked for the number, and im supposed to wait for you to tell me when i can give you the number? jeez. get lost. and johnny, go bug someone else.

anyway, the story above was completely false. and ...woah, just had a blonde moment. anyway, remember, i'm cool.

sincerely ,

shloob

wise-ness

2006-08-08T18:33:00.000-04:00

back to share wise words with the rest of you porky schlubs. now stop stuffing that face of yours and start paying attention dammit! ANYWHO well, today, im gonna tell you about how tommorrow will never come. alright? now JIMMY SIT DOWN. see it goes like this, today is today right? okay, now today, we call tommorow 'tommorow' still following me? okay. STEP AWAY FROM THE DOOR JIMMY! now when the nday after today here on know as 'tommorow' comes, we'll call tommorow today. see? and then tommorow becomes today and today becomes yesterday. confused? just think about it for a bit, it'll make more sense. and if it doesnt, well, then you, sir, are an idiot. FINE JIMMY!! AND DONT COME BACK!!

"VLAG"

2006-08-07T12:01:00.000-04:00

v: so.... oh umm.. by the by, did i tell you my cousin vlag is coming?
s: when...?
v: ermm...

*loud crashing noises*

v: ...now
s: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

*walks to door*

vlag: umm yea, aboutthe door...
v: dont worry about it
s: *hyperventilates* so... how ya been?
vlag: same ol' same ol'
v: are you still twig farming?!
vlag: nah...

*quite a bit later*

s: so... vlad, what say we show vlag around town?
v: ...alright

*at the zoo*

vlag: !! an elephant!!
s: yeesssssss... an elephant
v: lets throw peanuts at it!!
s: no...
vlag: alrighty...

*throws peanuts at elephant trainer*

s: ARGH! VLAG!!!!

*elephant eats trainer*

vlag: uhhhh woopsie?

*elephant walks over*

v: here shvad, have a peanut
s: *Glares* no thanks *gives peanut to vlag

*elephant attempts to eat vlag*

vlag: ARRRAGHHHH THERE'S ELEPHANT SLOBBER ALL OVER ME!!!

*elephant spits out vlag*
*vlag flys out*
*hippo in the hippo pond yawns*
*vlad flys in to the hippo's mouth*
*hippo closes mouth, vlag disappears*

*three days later..*

s: hey... this newpaper says that they found some person wandering the streets smelling like a hippo...
v: OMG!! it's vlag!!

*goes to pick up vlag from the police*

v: VLAG! what happened?!
vlag: erfgh woer snrwe wermf erwje
s: i dont think vlag will ever be the same...
vlag: poske nwjer ewekr nenwl

woah

2006-08-06T15:57:00.000-04:00

APPARENTLY this will reveal your true nature...

Instructions:
1. Delve into your blog archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.

and we keep messing things up

wow. that is so accurate.

thank you www.slappythezombie.blogspot.com

"vlan"

2006-07-10T19:31:00.000-04:00

vlan, brother of vlag is coming to visit.

v: THEY'RE COMING!!!
s: who's coming?
v: vlan.
s: vlan is one person. say, who the heck is vlan?
v: vlan, my cousin, brother of vlag.
s: ah yes...vlag...*remembers*
v: heheheh silly vlag...

*a couple minutes -of staring off into space- later*

s: way, what does vlan eat?
v: i could be wrong but i think he eats paper...
s: thats so odd....
v: we eat metal
s: so?

*door bell*
*vlad throws open the door*

v: VLAN!!!
vlan: VLAD YOU YELLER-BELLIED CITY SLICKER!!!
v: uh..gee....thanks?
s: so.... vlan, how's vlag been doing ....since her little "accident"?
vlan: aww shucks, doc say she'll be fine, with o' bit o' theramapy...
s: well that's always good....*whispers to vlad* he's a HILL BILLY?!
v: he's from new york... i have no idea why he has an accent...
s: ....well...how 'bout we get your bags upstairs, vlan?
vlan: HOT DIGGITY DOG! i never knew y'all had an upstairs!!!

*a while later*

s: so...what's it like in new york?
vlan : 's full o' city slickers like y'all....*mumbles* stupid cappochino sippin' biscotti muchin', yeller bellies. damn city folk, always walkn' with dem jobs, and dem young uns' tippin over ma plastic cattle...*goes back to talking to shvad* oh..it's great...
v: so...
vlan: GOOD LORDY!! i brought dems chewin' tobacca fer you two. heard y'all couldnt git none 'round here.
v: umm... gosh, that's so...generous?

Dear Jamie, the epilogue

2006-05-08T18:39:00.000-04:00

*if you havent read 'Dear Jamie, or So Long Jimmy, i STRONGLY suggest you read them*

Johnny comes back to find Jimmy-the adventure down the street wasnt so fun. he's been around the block a few times, been beat up by all his friends...anyways the main point was that Jimmy's tinfoil eating contests were more fun than that 'basketball' everyone speaks of so fondly.

Johnny looks EVERYWHERE for Jimmy. he finds a letter in front of the closet door addressed to 'Jamie'.

he reads it....(well we all know how it goes, and if you dont, SHAME!)

--*gasp*!

bangs on the closet door

'JIMMY!"
'JOHNNY? help me open the door, theres do doorknob on the inside!'
'oh...heh...woopsie, i should have brought that back after i borrowed it...'
'THAT WAS YOU?!!!'
'woops, forgot to tell ya....'
'JUST GET ME OUT'
'fine....oh and i should tell you something....'Jamie' doesnt exist, i figured you'd be kept pretty busy since you had to think while you wrote that letter. and by the way, i've only been gone i dunno....half an hour? maybe less....'
'oh......'

Shvad and Vlad get a computer

2006-05-03T18:55:00.000-04:00

s: VLAD! help me get this box inside
v: oh boy! FOOD!!!!
s: no, a COMPUTER
v: com-pu-ter?
s: yes...a computer
v: what's a comp-compu...what's that?
s: *sigh* you're so old fashioned
v: ME?! OLD FASHIONED?!
s: yes, you, old fashioned
v: how am i old fashioned?
s: well, you dont know what a computer is....
v: well i would know if i saw it
s: fine, look in the box
v: IT IS FOOD! YOU'VE BEEN LYING THE WHOLE TIME! ha, and you even made up a word to confuse me....com-pu-ter....ha, i should have known it was made up...now can we eat it?
s: *sigh* i DIDNT make up the word computer, im NOT letting you eat it either, just because you arent techologically advanced doesnt mean you'll drag me down with you. now I'M going to go set it up......youre welcome to watch, BUT DONT TOUCH!
v: geez.....

(a couple of hours later)

s: all done...
v: *drools* ive never seen food set up so nicely before...
s: IT'S NOT FOOD!
v:*drools*

(shvad leaves to grab some snacks off of the fridge)
(vlad eats the computer)

v: *BURP*
s: (in another room) why do i hear burping....?.......*GASP!*

(shvad runs to the room)

s:VLAD!!! IM A GONNA KILL YOU!!!!

A world where toenail clippings are patented

2006-04-30T18:35:00.000-04:00

jimmy: ma! can you get me another toenail clipping form?
ma: i JUST got you one two months ago!
jimmy: but theyre SO long..
ma: theyre only five inches. Besides i told you, dont cut your toenails until theyre six inches. TOE NAIL CLIPPINGS ARENT FREE YOU KNOW!
jimmy: fine...

so long Jimmy, the prequel to 'Dear Jamie'

2006-04-29T21:25:00.001-04:00

Jimmy comes home from yet another lint fest and finds a note on his door...

So long Jimmy,

I have chosen to go find more intelligent friends, and improve myself. You're always dragging me down with your lint races and your tin foil-eating contests.I shall go to the other end of the street to see what's there. To pass the time while i am gone, i suggest you go hide in a dark closet, or go write a letter to 'Jamie' you long-lost brother of translyvannia...or maybe be it's pennsilvania...or maybe it's in cannibal missouri....whatever. Or you could do both, hide in a closet AND write a letter (maybe even to all three of them).

hopes to never see you again,
Johnny

Dear Jamie..

2006-04-28T15:59:00.000-04:00

Dear Jamie,
I've been hiding in this closet for about a week now, Im not too sure why I'm still in here, but Johnny siad i should write to you. Im getiing mighty hungry in here...i wish i remembered to bring snacks. Send food. but no grapes or wood (allergies) and definetly no tomatoes (theyre evil). Well, i look forward to meeting you.

with stupidness
Jimmy

p.s i just tried to get out of this closet to send the letter. the doorknob's stuck, well, i guess i'll never see you, Jamie. Well, then i'll get started on my will. To Johnny, i leave him what ever's in my hand when i die. To Jamie, i leave all my worldly belongings except for those above mentioned items. And the rest (if any) i leave to the good people at the local asylum. Oh, and i donate my body for scientific research done ONLY by Leondardo DaVinci. HE IS NOT DEAD!!

non-laughing matters...seriously.

2006-04-23T19:57:00.000-04:00

these below are NON-LAUGHING matters. seriously. i'm being serious for the first time in my life...

1)the elderly

2)autism

3)emo-as-an-ism

4)the bullied

5)dictionaries

6)fruit-as-an-ism(if you know wat i mean..seriously)

7)stupidity

8)speech impediment-ism

if you can think of more, leave a suggestion!!!

bubabeeric confessions notethese ARENT all true

2006-04-13T21:36:00.000-04:00

confession #1
I dont have a name

confession #2
i have a little monkey inside me that controlls everything I do

confession #3
I was dropped off by the IRS and given a new identity. if you tell anyone I'll be forced to kill you

confession #4
i live in a milk carton

confession #5
I have a sixth finger

confession #6
the said finger is on my third arm

confession #7
thoses street lights aren't powered by electricity, i have to peddel inside one all day!!

confession #8
I pee on hobo's whne theyre not looking

confession #9
I'm an ümpalümpa

confession #10
I'm blind

aspriations...

2006-04-05T19:28:00.000-04:00

a kid has a dream. A teacher has a different opinion....

Teacher: When you grow up, you can be what ever you want to be.
Jimmy: When I grow up i wanna be a TREE!!
Teacher: *sigh* I dont think you can be a tree when you grow up jimmy. At most, i figure you'd become a shrub, maybe even a bush if you're lucky. Though i'd probably say you'd end up as a broken stick or something.
jimmy: awwwwww....

fridge magnets

2006-04-02T13:10:00.000-04:00

I feel so...
soy (?)
gassy (ew...)
child obesity-like (TUBBY!!)
puddled (um puzzled?)
discombobulated (can you feel combobulated?)
un-grammatical (i is very good at grammar)

...is fun
carbohydrated milk (doesnt ALL milk have carbs?)
biking on calcium (how does that work?)
soy (again?!)
child obesity (damn fat kids)

teehee

2006-03-15T15:50:00.000-05:00

lets hear a story.

gather 'round.

i remember when i was little, and we had to walk 20 miles to get to school.....

im kidding

i dont think i've EVER had to walk 20 miles to ANYWHERE.

well anyways.

find the story.

dsgjwoijakmvkjfaieuoncetherenewrhaweawiwasalittleoldlad
yjioewhfwnrurhwhofklhfoiewrhiojDIEDhfewhrwehtheend

well, wasnt that a nice story?

march break

2006-03-15T15:41:00.000-05:00

hey everybody!

wow, i can't believe its march break already! time flies when ur having fun! ...n o t. well, i'm stuck at home with a nasty cold...have i ever mentionned that i H A T E colds? no? well, i HA T E colds. there. *sigh* i am S O bored rite now. hold on, i've gotta blow my .nose..

bakk, anyways, its sunny outside, yet its S O O O O O O cold. i think i'm gonna go drink some coffee. " i feel like tacos" lmao jess, sam, & voobl.

with all due randomness and love,

shloob

Shvad and Vlad have guests!!

2006-03-07T16:40:00.000-05:00

s: Vlad!!!!! go pick the little metal shards out of ur teeth and go pick off the bits of wire from the couch! we're having guests today!
v: wow.......guests......visiting......on their own willpower
s: what are you trying to imply?
v: nothing........
s: whatever....anyway i met them on my morning walk
v: what morning walk?
s: u know the one i take at 4am in the morning
v: 4 am eh? it's almost like ur avoiding me or something.....
s: uh....yea....almost....heh....

(doorbell rings)

s: IM GETTING THAT!!!!!VLAD STAY BACK!!
v: golly....
s:(whisper) act like a normal person....
v: (whisper) ok.....why are we whispering?
s: what ever
the guests: Hello shvad! and this must be vlad! we heard soooooooo much about you...
v: i thought that you guys met on a morning walk
guests: o yes, and since then, we've gone EVERY morning
v: oh...
s: heh....anyways....how 'bout some cheese?

(guests look at each other wondering why shvad's offering them cheese)

guests: uh....sure....
v: ch-eeee-see?
s:yes, cheese, the stuff that normal people just like us eat not that im saying anyone who doesnt eat cheese is weird of anything....
v: oh....CH-EE-SE
s: yes....cheese...
v:i say we have some nuts instead
s: you mean peanuts...
v: PEA-nuts...?
s: yes, peanuts the stuff that normal people snack on in their normal lives...
v: (points to a bowl full of carrots) what are THOSE?
s: um...peanuts?
guests: acutally....i think they're carrots....
s: whoops?

(guests secretly call the local asylum)
(amblance pulls up, paramedics get out)

paramedics: someone called about 2 crazy people?
guests: yea, these two

(points to shvad and vlad)

s&v: who me?
guests: yea.....
paramedics: oh im sorry, we cant take tose two in, they blew up an asylum in translyvannia, we cant take ANY chances...
guests: heh....

(guests slowly back off, the drives off quickly on their little tiny car)

s: NOOOOO!!! MY LAST CHANCE AT CIVILIZATION!!! RUINED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(looks at vlad, points)

s: YOU!!!

(beats up vlad)

v: owwwwww

the bubabeeric word of the day: BLELLOW

2006-02-25T13:31:00.000-05:00

blellow (bl-ellow) : blue and yellow........makes green

blellow is the NEW green. it's waaaaaaaaay cooler than green. yep. green is now blellow. and now green means .....ugly.....

see this is blellow
this is green

yep.

this is a very blellow blog
and some one that i wont mention is very green.

Shloob's trial

2006-02-21T17:10:00.000-05:00

we taped shloob's trial, since you couldnt be there 'cause of all the people there for the free pie...

judge-voobl(oh boy)
jury-the "what's that sonny?" bubabeer cousins, the ye olde cousins and the speech impediment cousins
shloob's lawyers- Vlad and Shvad
shloob's persecutors-shloob's wannabe ipod
the people here for some free pie- the fine citizens (if not cheap) of Cannibal, Missouri

(excited mumuring..."nice 'fro", "you got rid of dem slugs!", "YOU NO GOOD ,YELLER BELLIED, COFFEE SIPPIN, BISCOTTI EATIN CITY SLICKER!" "PAPA GAFAW?!" "RUN CHUCKLE! RUN!!" " HE'S GETTIN AWAY!!!!!")

v: CHAOS IN THE COURT!!
s: it's order in the court you moron
v: don't contradict me in all my honourable glory
s: you're just judge because your the most sane person here!
all: GASP!
s: ummm....woopsie?

(angry mob tries to kill shloob)

v: ORDER IN THIS COURT!.....as if that'll ever happen....but anyways........shloob is charged with breaking a bubabeer law, exceeding her quota! and now, I call shloob's wannabe Ipod to the stand.

(an ipod shuffles its way to the stand)

v: so, tell us what happened
i: *sniff* it was horrible i tells ya! horrible!, one day i was just...just sitting there and all of a sudden the list of songs became : No Use For A Name, Greenday,Not by choice, Kelly Clarkson, James Blunt (the blunt one), AND Vanessa Carlton. ALL THOSE ACCENTS! THE HORROR!
all: *gasps in horror*
ipod's lawyers: So as you can see, Shloob is clearly guilty.
ye olde bubs: OFFETH WITHE THEIRETH HEADSETH! -eth
v: NO BEHEADINGS!
ye olde: welleth thene, to thee dungeonse theneth
v: no dungeoning either!
speech impediment bubs: yeth, those thurroundings will thycologically thtupify thloob , and she will thtay thilent!
v: um...no...
shloob's lawyers: we have gathered some evidence of tampering with the ipod by someone else!
v: okay then....carry on
lawyers: see this scratch here? well who did that?
s:*whispers* i think that was when i dropped it...
lawyer: and this greasy streak?
s: *whisper* i had fries!
v: okay, you can sit down now...
"what's that sonny?" bubs: WHAT? WE CAN ALL PULL OUR PANTS OFF?! THIS IS SOME WEIRD SYSTEM THEY GOT NOW A DAYS
v: well anyways, jury what's your verdict?
jury: 'OFFETH WITHE HER HESETH!' 'no, we shall thend thuper heroth to thort out thith thituation,' 'WHAT's THAT SONNY?'
v: well by putting all those together, i conclude that shloob will have superhero's to behead her.......wait a minute.....nevermind, she's going to be forced to remove her vanessa carlton songs and then get on with her life.
the citizens of cannibal missouri: FREE PIE!!!!

tisk tisk shloob

2006-02-17T21:35:00.000-05:00

shloob has broken one of the 3 golden bubabeer rules.

they are:
1) join the conformity
2) get a muffler
3) you have a quota of foreign bands, DO NOT exceed them

these rules aren't to be confused with the blue elephant rules:

1) always hit and swipe and kick at every chance
2) say 'please' over and over again when you want something, say thankyou when you get it
3) there are rooms for playing, there are rooms for sitting and rooms for hitting
4) ALWAYS introduce your friends as 'Jimmy' (no matter what their names are)

anyways, Shloob has exceeded her amount of foreign bands (and her dad's car doesnt have a muffler, but we're over looking that)

her trial begins tommorow.

vlad and shvad and a mistaken identity

2006-02-11T16:46:00.000-05:00

v: hey look! NASA's looking for people to send to the moon!
s: so?
v: we could pretend to want to go and then...we'll eat the spaceship
s: you know that we'd probably be arrested or something...
v: but then we can eat our way out of jail
s: well i guess your plan might work......
v: YAY!!

(applies for the astronut thingy, does some tests. letter arrives at the idiot house (aka the shvad & vlad house))

s: OMIGOSH!
v(thinks: shvad would never say omigosh!): WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH SHVAD?!
s: I'm shvad!
v: well then...let me ask you something only shvad would know
s: fine
v: well then, what do we eat?
s: metal...duh
v: that was a lucky guess
s: no it wasnt! Im shvad!!!!!!!!
v: what ever......what am i allergic to?
s: wood
v: hmmm you really got shvad to spill the beans didnt you? okay then, only the real shvad would know this! what is my greatest fear?
s: easy, youre afraid of penguins
v: AHA! I KNEW IT! IM NOT AFRAID OF PENGUINS!
s: o yeah?

(takes out a stuffed penguin)

v: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! get it away!!!!
s: see
v: fine. you are shvad
s: geez

a story...i hope

2006-02-10T16:29:00.000-05:00

gather around children, yes, yes, no bob, join the circle. bob....we talked about this, you dont get to eat if you dont join the circle. BOB JOIN THE FREAKIN CIRCLE! HEY!! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOURE GOING?!! NO, YOU CANT GO HOME. ALRIGHT, NO LUNCH FOR YOU! now...the REST of us are going to sit here and then go have some nice, warm lunch, right? ok, well...im here to tell you the story of what happened to the bubabeer cousins. as you all know, the veggie ones got eaten (p.s the story's on the 50th post) and yeah.... HEY! where do you think youre going?! NO! GET AWAY FROM THE DOOR! NO COME BACK HERE AND SIT DOWN YOU LITTLE MINIONS! FINE THEN, NO FOOD FOR YOU! AND YOU! AND YOU! AND YOU! THAT'S RIGHT NO LUNCH!!!!! MUAHAHAHA! now where were we...where is every body? oh geez. well then you can leave...no story today...

The Adventures of Tractor Plowman and Chuckberry Fishh : based loosely on the stories by Mark Twain

2006-01-28T09:04:00.000-05:00

Cast of Characters

Tractor Plowman(tractor): friend of Chuckleberry, based on the character "Tom Sawyer", (yes, we know )

Chuckeberry Fishh(chuckle): friend of Tractor Plowman, based on the character( can you guess?) "huckleberry finn"

Wisteria Sinesis (Wussie) : a very tall but shy girl, needs to be aggresively pruned (or, in plain English, she needs a good haircut)

Plumbago Auriculata( Plum): the girl of Tractor Plowman's dreams. needs sunshine and warmth. Feed once a week until august (just kidding)

Aunt Wally: Tractor's aunt,( we're not sure, but we think she's a transvestite).

Tim the Digger: hobo that lives in the "Diggin' house"(based on the character Jim)

The Window Douglas: old window who wants to "sivilise" Chuckle. (based on The Widow Douglas)

Chuckle's Father- Gaffaw: Drunken man, what more do we need to say?

Setting: Cannibal, Missouri.

Part one: Tractor plays, hides, and runs.

"Tractor! git yer grit eattin butt ova here!"said "aunt" wally.
"i swear i dun know where that yella belly is half de time, and he's aways gettin inta scuffles"

(meanwhile, tractor runs)

"hey Chuckle di ya jus chuckle?"
"no ya misguided city sliker i didnt!"
"golly don't get your trousers tied in a knot!"
"well ive been awful jumpy lately since Papa Guffaw came back"
"the window will take care of yas"

(to the Window!)
(the Window's rocking on an old rocking chair knitting)

"aw gosh darnit i don know where that awful human's gone ta , even old Windows gotta rest them panes. eh?"

Part 2: Wussie and Plum

"golly wussie, you REALLY need some prunin'."said Plum.
"I wouln't be talkin' Plum, 'the slugs must go'"
"I ain't got no slugs!"
"Then, what in the world is that?"
"dangnabbit! 'scuse be for a sec, gotta get sum o'them cityslicker's salt, sweat won't work this time. an' you go get urself a good pruning!"
" I'll cut nothing back! things will grow on my head in total freedom!"
"golly..."

to be continued....

HAPPY B-DAY MOZART!!

2006-01-27T16:23:00.000-05:00

HAPPY B-DAY MOZART!!!!!!!!!!

i didnt even know it was mozart's b-day til i went to google, and their logo was decorated with a false wig, and i think it was a hat. wow.

anyway, scroll down if you want to see actual posts.

vlad's birthday

2006-01-24T14:46:00.000-05:00

s: happy birthday vlad!!
v: no, no shvad, it's vladday!!!
s: uh...sure vlad.....happy vladday....
v: well what have you got for vlad on this fine vladday?

(shvad hands vlad a present)
(vlad opens it(it's a tv but vlad doesnt know that))

v: *gasp* you shouldnt have!
s: well....
v: now i have a snack!!
s:WHAT?! noooooo vlad! it's a tv you watch it...
v: but why would i watch a perfectly good snack sit there when i can eat it?
s: (smacks forehead with palm) i knew i should have gotten that disfunctional fridge instead of this perfectly functional tv
v: but why eat a disfunctional appliance when you have a perfectly funtional one?

(gobbling sounds)
(little pieces of wire left on the ground)

s: VLAD!!
v: what now?
s: you left crumbs on floor!
v: nag nag nag, geez

an optimist's life in a pessimist's world - part 1

2006-01-23T12:10:00.000-05:00

You're walking down a hall, and you see an open door, so...you walk in. thinking" what's the worst that can happen?.." and there you see mrs.Emerson playing her rusty, smelly, school flute (no offense or anything....)

you fall down a giant bottomless pit...(dont ask) oh joy! literally!! cuz, what's the worst that can happen anyway?! well, we lied, the pit wasnt bottomless, it was just a very deep smelly hole full of floating blue cheese and green turtles.

you tumble into mrs.emerson's music room, once again, full of floating blue cheese and green turtle, oh, and it smelt like her old flute. u see her playing it with her grubby hands, and you think, " wats the worst that could happen?" and then you realize....the class is FULL of PEOPLE, ACTUALLY, ITS UR HOMEROOM, and....the bad part....let's just say ur bottom was exposed to a LOT of wind... no not the kind that comes from bottoms,..... and thats putting it nicely, but LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, AT LEAST UR NOT FALLING, OR FAILING MUSIC.

you run to ur locker to get ur gym clothes, and when you reach inside, something bites you!!!!! OWWWWW!!!! now ur missing a freakin' finger...but look on the bright side, UR NOT IN EMERSON'S CLASS ANYMORE, AND.. 9 IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER!!!!

turns out, ur newt bit you, cuz...remember that time when you brought it to class for show and tell? lets just say that it hasn't see daylight for ..oh...about...a year or so.

but not to worry, its been living off the evolved living forms from ur gym clothes...plus ...uh...ur gym clothes... yes, its disgusting...but look on the bright side, at least its alive! ...well, half..alive..half..dead..

so you steal ur locker partner's gym clothes,( which are , by the way, one size smaller than yours...unfortunately...but, the poor can't be choosey, especially when they have no clothes)

dont miss the exciting PART 2 , coming out...eventually....

with Randomness,

SHLOOB AND VOOBL.

while we were at LORNE PARK

2006-01-23T11:38:00.000-05:00

voobl and i, i and voobl, we, went to the LP open house and discovered many of its unearthly secrets:

lorne park

home of the lorne park spartans..were in the 21st century now dudes,

get with the program..nooo..not the enhanced program...THE program.

HIRING: teachers

note: you must have a moustachio or any type of facial hair discluding eyebrows.

2nd note: you DO NOT have to be a man. *hint hint*

gym doors: apparatus, (asparagus? was it a type-o?)

Mr.keeny: i like red shoes, earrings, AND WEIRD lil "myths" about the

enhanced program.

LECTURE HALL: actually a ROOM. dudes, get it right.

toshiba pens: they almost look like little purple arms

note: this is NOT related to the lecture HALL.

microphones: ...wires...dont duct tape them to the ground...

someone will try to rip it off the ground.

the result: an electricuted person...but wats worse:

STICKY FLOORS!

GYM DOORS: tall enough for shaquil o'neil and yao ming...

on TOP of each other.

so...dudes..if you have spare time...be sure to visit LORNE PARK SS!!!!

...just a post...

2006-01-04T11:27:00.000-05:00

.................. At the start of every year, the human race says : HAPPY NEW
YEAR!!!! and the day after, it's not the New Year anymore; its old...

..................On every birthday, you can hear someone say: ITS MY
BIRTHDAY!!! and the day after, its no longer that special day...

...................At the beginning of every school year, the students say: TOMORROW'S
THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! I CAN HARDLY WAIT!!! and the day after, all the
excitement's gone...

....................On every Christmas Eve, you can hear someone say: TOMORROW'S
CHRISTMAS!!! I CAN'T WAIT TO OPEN MY PRESENTS!!! and the day after, all
the magic is gone...

So you see, the truth is, good occasions only last a day or so.... while the bad
memories cloud our minds......and we feel anger and disappointment....
in the end, we are sad and hurt....

...but the good thing is, it comes every year...

vlad and shvad's holidays

2006-01-01T18:05:00.000-05:00

well while you were off doing whatever YOU do on the holidays (apparently christmas isnt "polictically correct" anymore but what the heck) vlad and shavd was doing thier usual stuff....

(dec 24(christmas eve if you didnt know))

v: it's VLADMAS EVE!!!
s: its called CHRISTmas you moron
v:whatever...i've always called it vladmas and i always will
s: so what did you want for "vladmas"?
v: i wanted another car
s: to eat or to drive?
v: a bit of both, first im going to eat the doors off, then im going to drive as fast as possible to see what happens then im going to eat the rest of it
s:...sounds like you had it all planned out.....
v: yup, now im going to go to bed
s: you just had breakfast 20 mins ago
v: your point is?...
s: it MORNING
v: the sooner you sleep the sooner tomorow comes
s: what an idiot

(vlad goes to bed.... shvad goes to plot vlad's ulimate demise)

("vladmas")

v: MERRY VLADMAS
s: merry vladmas your self
v: what's wrong with you?
s: i found a lump of wood in my vladmas glove
v: HA! i got a car!
s: phooey
v: so what are we eating to celebrate vladmas?
s: a vladmas oven...DUH

(new years eve)

v: im gonna stay up alllllll night
s: and i suppose i'd have to do the same
v: why?
s: because if i dont then youre going to chew off the foundations of the house or blow up the neigbour dogs with one of your little "coincedences"
v: it happens once and you never hear the end of it...

(new years day)

s: yay 2006...nurgh...and the days just keep plodding on and on and on and ...ARGHHH
v: what now?
s: the days jsut plodded over me! look...i have january 1st footsteps all over me...

50TH'S POST!!! GET EXCITED!!!! ITS A REUNION!!!!

2005-12-04T11:38:00.000-05:00

shloob and voobl decided to meet up with all of their "unknown cousins" form around the world. they sent out invitations to:

1. shloob and voobl "i aint got no tabacca" buubaaabeeeers( southern u.s.a)
2. shloobête and vooblé bubabeerique( france)
3. McShloob and McVoobl of "look ma! no underpants" clan. (scotland)
4.shloob and voobl "i vant to drink ur blood" (Tranasylvannia)
5. shloob and voobl bubabeer (make up ur own accents! they're frum the middle east)
6. dijiri-doo-playin' shloob and aligator wrestin' voobl( australia)
7.shloob and voobl "AHHHH THE LIGHT!" (UNDERGROUND)
8.shloob and voobl bubabeer-eh?(wheat grownin'-canada)
9. shloob and voobl bubabeer-we-own-this-place! (spain)
10.shloob and voobl "we're across the border!" bubabeer (mexico)
11.shi-lub and vubl bu, (china)
12.shloob and voobl "mm..olives" bubabeers(greece)
13.ЅЋζююβ&ұФФβב βџβДβззЯ (some intergalactic planet)
14. shloob and voobl bubaervanhughtzentughtengunther (germany)
15. thloob and voobl bubabeerth (its just a speech impediment)
16. ye olde shloobe and vooble bubabeereth (ye ole englandeeeeee)
17. shloob and voobl the root veggies (self explanatory)
18. shloob and voobl "whats that sonny?" bubabeer (bear with us, they're old folks)

and let the disaster begin

s& v(original): hello everybody!!!!
souther s&v : haloo, wheres the tabacca?! im alllllllllll exciteddd!!!!
ЅЋζююβ&ұФФβב βџβДβззЯ : asdlfhkfgyuqrehtusyfa
s&v(original): snack table's over there, u may find ur 'home veggies and meaties" there. by the way, DO NOT EAT THE GIANT ROOT VEGGIES! THEY 'RE UR COUSINS!!!
ЅЋζююβ&ұФФβב βџβДβззЯ: JDFUDGBUY!!!!!!!!!!!( wat??!!!!!!)
S&V (ORIGINAl) : yes, we have food relatives
old sv: wats that??? we can eat the old veggies??? ok! (hobbling over to the table)
(munch munch)
all: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! ...great....they're cannibals...
s&v (underground) : its soo bright! and wats that?!
S&v- its a t.v u morons!!!
s&v (underground); tv!!! WILL THE WONDERS EVER CEASE?!
S&V -no
s&v (olde englishe) wheres the guillotin? we haveth foundeth someth traitors...-eth..
s&v: NO GUILLOTINS IN THE HOUSE!!!! IF YA WANNA BEHEAD SOMEONE, DO IT OUTSIDE!!!
S&V (TRANSYVANNIAN): yes.... and remember, uze a vater proof basket for ze head! ze blood iz important!!!!
S whispering to V (original): why'd we invite him?
v: u invited him, not me
s:....

(one chaotic hour l8r)

shvad and vlad: WHY WERENT WE INVITED???!!!!
S&V; ur not our cousins, ur parallel beings!!!!! ...eth...
olde s&v: offeth withe theire headseth!
all: NO BEHEADINGS IN THE HOUSE
olde: well we'll take it outside then
middle east s&v: i want to watch but i cant get anything on my brand new sandals
olde s&v: well...we'll work something out
aussi s&v: i could dijiri-doo 'em ta death!
v (original): yea she's got mad skills
s(original): a dijiri-doo's an instrument you idiots

(some more squabbling, shvad and vlad quietly slip away in to the blinding sun)

s&v (scottie): attention me lads and lassies!!! we've go an anouncement!!!

(the wind : whooosh, and since they wearing kilts....)

all: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my eyes!!!!!!

s to v (scottie): i told ya we should've pinned our kilts!!
v(scottie); nay, it is not our way!

(ignore the squabbling amongst the scotties)

s&v(frenchies): (greeting every one in the traditional french way (kissing))
southern s&v: GIT OFF A ME YA YELLER-BELLIES, AND TAKE YER FRENCH BREAD WITH YA!!!
germans whispering to each other: i see another holocaust coming up
all: WE HEARD THAT
s&v(speech problems):yeth and we have thurrounded you with out thurprizing thtrength. ur thurounded!!!!! ha!!! our thkills will thycologically athtound u!!!!hahahaha---th
all: NO
chinese s&v: there is an ancient chinese tale about this kind of thing and it goes like this........

(3 hours of 5000 year old chinese fables)

chinese s&v: and thats why you must change your socks every monday
s&v(oringinal): but the story was supposed to be about squabbling and starting another world war!!!
chinese: we dont have any other story, we're always telling you this one only the translators always screw up and turn it into some meaningful gibberish
s&v(orininal): damn and i've been following that advice!!!!!!

(3 hours later)

s&v : bye everyone!!!! and dont EVER come again!!!!!!
greeks: but the olives the---
mexicans: shut up! our flamanco OWNS UR OLIVES!!!!
spain: (plants a flag) no! i now declare this property ours!!!
mexicans: do u even no wat "own" means???
canadians : the "homey-g " way? ...or the normal way? eh?
mexicans : nevermind...

(everybody leaves ...finally)

from the desk of shloob and voobl:

dear readers,

we sincerely apologize for the intolerable behaviour of our relatives, especially the old ones(they ate our veggie cousins). But , we hope that u have enjoyed reading about our painful reunion.

sincerely,

shloob and voobl bubabeer.(the normal ones)

shvad buys a car!!! (o lord)

2005-11-29T15:49:00.000-05:00

on saturday, shvad went to this car-buying-place-thingy-place place to , well, obviously, buy a car. she chose a metalic silver toyota matrix!!!! yay!!!! beforehand, she built a 'secret' garage to hide it frum vlad, cuz its , like, metal, u no, so....yeah, vlad'll eat it...NO MAKE THAT : DEVOUR IT

s: ahh, a new car, well, i dont have to worry about vlad eating it cuz no one nos where my secret garage is even though its underground under my basement... well, no one nos...

v: (on sunday) i need to go to future shop...
s: why?
v: to ...uh....buy a ...fridge.. yeah! a fridge!
s: k fine, but we're gonna go in my...c.-------
v: u bought a car??????? and u never told me??????
s: me and my big fat mouth! yes! i bought a car!
v: well, lets go to future shop!
s: fine!

( shvad gets car)

s: wait here while i go lock the door.
v: (drooling) k
s: and DONT EAT THE CAR!

( goes to lock the door, comes bac)

s: my car! VLADDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U MORON!!!!!
v: i was hungry!

(arrives at future shop, a dangerous place)

v: oo, look at all the metal electronics!!!!
s: (drooling) this gives me an idea....

(5 minutes l8r)

store manager: ur gonna have to pay for all those electonics that u ate!!!!!

vlad and shvad go on a vacation

2005-11-24T20:22:00.000-05:00

s: so vlad, are you packed yet
v: i cant get this fridge to fit
s: you can eat the minibar in the hotel
v: well i guess im packed then...

(a tempting thrip in a METAL taxi)

s: hey vlad, we're at the airport
v: (looks around drooling) hey whats that
s: o nothing just a metal detector, we shouldnt have any problems....RIGHT??
v: i dont think so...

(walking through the metal detector)

v: AHHH WHY'S IT BEEPING?!
s: didint i tell you NOT to have ANY snacks/food before we left?!
v: all i had was a nail, or two....or three....ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I ATE THE WHOLE PACK
s: grrrrrrrrrrr
v: i was hungry!
s: what ever...

(on the plane)

s: what are you looking at?
v: o nothing
s: you were looking at the wings werent you!
v: no i wasnt
s: yes you were! I SAW YOU!!!
v: alright alright so i was
s: you were planning to go out and eat it werent you
v: maybe
s: IM GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!!
v: you've said that soooo many times and im still alive.....right?.......RIGHT??? I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE

(grabs a parachute and jumps out the window)

s: oh geez

(shvad grabs a parachute and jumps after vlad)

v: why are you here?
s: well i am your care taker
v: so?
s: i have to be with you dont i
v: ummm this isnt even a paid job you moron
s: DAMMIT

vlad and shvad go camping

2005-11-24T16:09:00.000-05:00

v: oooooo look at the birdy!.....do ya think its edible?
s: once again vlad, NO our metal stomachs cant digest them
v: but i'm hungry!!
s: fine we'll camp here
v: yay! wut'd u pack to eat?
s: tinfoil, since i cant pack a FRIDGE!!!
v: fine fine geez, you're alwas freaking out nowadays
s: no i'm not
v: lets just eat
s: heres your fork.........what are you doing?....(GASP)....YOURE EATING THE FORK?!!!
v: what? its not a snack?
s: NO!
v: oh, opsie
s: great...i was planning to eat like civilized people
v: but we eat metal
s: APART FROM THAT SMALL DETAIL
v: oh, well then....
s: oh never mind!!!!

another valad and shvad

2005-11-23T16:24:00.000-05:00

v:(looking at her bills) what is this?! 30 000 dollars for food???
s: wasnt me...i only eat stoves and toasters
v: how could u have possibly let me spend that much money on food since youre the one that goes appliance shopping!
s: hey i'm not the one that HAS to get the maytag fridges! but nooo the regular kind tastes rusty!!!!
v: whaaaaat?! they do!!!!
s:so how are we supposed to come up with that much money since our jobs are IDIOT AND IDIOT CARETAKER!!
v:so?
s:ARGHHHH

shvad& vlad

2005-11-23T16:06:00.000-05:00

vlad: i'm not feeling well

shvad: so..?

vlad: dont u care?

shvad: do u want the ugly truth or the kicked around half-truth?

vlad: nevermind! it was all becuz of ur stupid piano!

shvad: it coulndt have done nething to u SINCE U ATE IT!!!!

vlad: yeah, well, in case u've forgotten, OUR STOMACHS DONT DIGEST WOOD VERY
WELL!!! only metal appliances....

vlad: oh....hehe...

sneakers

2005-11-23T16:04:00.000-05:00

how stupid am i...?

no, really, i didnt no why ppl called 'sneakers' sneakers until like, yesterday...

nirds

2005-11-23T15:59:00.000-05:00

i dont even no why im telling u this, but...here goes..

well, me and voolb were talking about the letter 'n' and what would happen if we replaced the forst letter of every word wif 'n', and here r some words

1. bird- nird, which sound REALLY weird

2. running shoes- nunning shoes, first of all,k i didnt nun was a verb, and u dont need shoes to "nun.

3. yellow- nellow, nothing special, just sounds weird...

if u have any more words that sound weird, post a comment and we will post ur word.

yay!!!

now who invented the word newt?

we need to eat 2-4 servings of GRASS everyday!!!

2005-11-22T16:07:00.000-05:00

hehe, get it? cheese? grass? milk???yep, its getting old, i no.

well.... come to think of it....

yep there was something i was thinking of, yesterday, b4 i fell asleep...damn it! i alway have the best ideas b4 i fall asleep, and the the next day i forget it!!!!! its SO ANNOYING.

well, i think i rmb...

wait ...
yay!!!

ok,

damn...
nevrmind, u can all go home now, no magic trick today...

VOOBL NEWS!!

2005-11-21T16:48:00.000-05:00

voobl has a NEWT

name: Nurbles Crumpet Bubabeer the Newt

i will try to post a picture of it some other time

moving!! forsaking!!!

2005-11-19T19:22:00.000-05:00

voobl has decided to move on to this site instead of posting on both zebubabeers and bubaronicles

cheese and grass

2005-11-17T16:21:00.000-05:00

cheese and grass r semi-related...

u see, cows eat grass, milk comes frum cows, and cheese is made frum milk! voila!

if u were a sock...

2005-11-14T16:11:00.000-05:00

ok..

if u were a sock, wat would u wanna look like?

would u want to be fuzzy on the inside?
would u want to have a cartoon of ur fav. cartoon character on it?
would u want to be a shade or a colour?
would u want to be an ankle-lengthed sock, or stockings?
would u want to have a little cotton ball thingy attached to it?

think about it....and then tell me by posting a comment...(duh)

dont mind her

2005-11-14T16:05:00.000-05:00

heyy ppls!

well.................................................. i just wanted to say dont mind voobl, shes just a BIT crazy at times... but o well

neway, i also wanted to say, the shvad and vlad episode/conversation thingys are not in order. (nothing on this blog is, i just write watever i want, wenever i want, now, if only life was like a blog...anyway, closing brackets now...-> )

thanx 4 visiting my blog, u should feel special and all warm inside afterwards... i think....

shloob.............~

hello there

2005-11-11T15:12:00.000-05:00

dont forget voobl!!!!!

i'm important too

right?

RIGHT?!

dammit

anyway just visit the OTHER bubabeer website:
www.zebubabeers.blogspot.com

the different stains of life

2005-11-08T16:17:00.000-05:00

1) a paint stain- comes in various colours, and sticks to ur clothing. usually found on shirts, sweaters, and pants....maybe ur shoe. non-removable.

2) an oil stain- its the most horrific stain of all stains, comes in the colour yellow and brownish yellow, removable by washing machine and laundry detergent.

3) juice stain- TIS EVIL I SAY! EVIL!!! it can come in many different colours, depending on the colour of the evil subtance. once u iron it, it wont be able to come off. removable but u have to follow this complicated procedure:1. take clothing and get into car. 2. drive car to the drycleaners. 3. tell them where the stain is, speak SSSSSSSLLLLLLOOOWWWWWWLLLLYYYY to avoid any misunderstandings. 4. go back to pick up ur belonging

4) any other stain: will be identified later, rite now, i have to go

shvad & vlad

2005-11-07T15:50:00.000-05:00

if u havent been reading my shvad and vlad dialogues, heres something to explain wat it is.
shvad and vlad are two 'BUTTIES' and/or ASSociates. well actually, they are two friends who are evil masterminds plotting to take over the world , and every attempt has failed so far, ..but no one needs to no that... they also love to eat electrical appliances. so far shvad has devoured: a computer, a toaster, and...other stuffs, vlad: T.V , stove, and...other various appliances. but, they hate anything made out of wood, ..bad for their teeth...

so...yeah
i hope that helped...
maybe not...

ANYWAY, heres another dialogue:

shvad: so, how r u feeling today?
vlad: hm...let me think..
shvad: omg! i cant believe this is happening!!! its a miracle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! holy cow!!! ur thinking!!
vlad: o shut up, and i feel, ...angelic!
shvad: LIES !!! ALL LIES!!!! (runs away like a maniac, well, they are maniacs)
vlad: hm..wats wrong with her? ...anyone? WHY ISNT ANYONE SAYING ANYTHING!!!!
o well, i think i'll go back to feeling HUNGRY now. hm...wats there to eat? STUPID WOODEN CHAIR!!!!

shvad & vlad halloween convo

2005-11-03T15:59:00.000-05:00

shvad: wat r u going as for halloween?
vlad: maybe an angel
shvad: pffftt! the only time u see "vlad" and "angel" together in a sentence is when "isn't an" is in between! hahaha!!! i crack myself up...
vlad: oh yeah? wat r u going as? huh? huh?
shvad: u'll just have ta see...

(trick or treating time)

vlad: i'm going as an angel! whether ya like it or not
shvad: ok...i dont really care...
vlad: wat about u?
shvad:(comes down from her room) tada!!!
vlad: who is that?? its so ugly!!
shvad: duh!!! dont u recognize urself????
vlad: oh...WAT?!
shvad: pfftt...

happy halloween y'all!!!

2005-10-31T16:13:00.000-05:00

today is halloween!!! yay!!!!
that is SO not a scary pic, but o well, its not like i wanted u guys to have nightmares or something...

Pricks

2005-10-26T15:50:00.000-04:00

there are different kinds of pricks. For example , you may find pricks on roses, and u might have even TOUCHED them! (ahh...the horror...) exciting isnt it? ...nah..anyway, im straying off the topic..
AHEM!

also, there are the everyday pricks (people) that always get in ur way! (trust me, ive have a LOT of experience with pricks!) they just dont no when to stop bothering u! (and if anyone i no in 8-3 is reading this, ur not a prick) take voobl for example, EVERYDAY, she goes, "shut up, wat do u no?" and EVERY TIME, i go"more than u" and then ...so..on, but its stupid cuz we like argue about the same thing everyday! (and she thinks shes smarter cuz shes older than me by 9 days, 6 hours and 25 minutes). so the next time that 'prick annoys u, just stare at them and say" get off my back, u prick in the butt!!!"

the tree

2005-10-25T15:59:00.000-04:00

ha! this is an inside joke between me and voobl, i wont bore u by telling u our joke, cuz u wont get it...but...heres a poem i made about the joke.

(this is not the poem)-theres this really tall guy in my class named alexei, and hes REALLY tall.

(this is the poem) AHEM!

The tree is tall
The tree is green,
Alexei's tall,
But hes not green.

the rhyming was very easy cuz i just used the same words,...but its FUNNY! if u get it i mean...:P

wat type of socks r u(shloob)

2005-10-24T16:28:00.000-04:00

You quite like socks, but your not overly-obsessed with them. You would have been a pair of knee-length socks in any colour, and probably stripy or something to make you that little bit more interesting.

guess wat day it is?!?!?!?!?!?!

2005-10-22T16:41:00.000-04:00

TODAY IS MY B-DAY!!!!!!!!!! WISH ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!...DO IT..!!!! or die!HA , THAT WS A JOKE! BUT U DO HAVE TO WISH ME A HAPPY B-DAY! EVEN IF U DONT DIE!!!

holepunchers

2005-10-21T16:33:00.000-04:00

hehe, last time i talked about highlighters, well, holepunchers are another one of those words that make no sense. and no voobl, thats not gunna happen!!!!! anyway, i get the "hole"part, but punchers????? i would have gotten that, but on this blog, everyone tries to be stupid, some stupider than others (ahem voobl) , wat do u think of when u think of punchers? i think of ppl that punch other people. why not call them holecutters, ...or holemakers???? instead the person just had to make it holePUNCHERS!!! (as u can see here , im ranting on and on about holepunchers cuz im crazy, NOT PSYCHOTIC! , just crazy...)

vlad and shvad

2005-10-20T21:25:00.000-04:00

s: hi vlad
v: hi shvad
s: umm why are you in my house?
v: im cleaning up to pay you back for all the damage that i caused
s: (grabbs vlad and starts shaking her) WHO ARE YOU ANS WHAT KIND OF HORRIBLE FUTURE AM I IN?!?!?!
v: actually, i was just doing what the living rock told me to do

hmm wut type of sock r u?

2005-10-20T21:24:00.000-04:00

intressting....socks (and abit of trees and cheese)

You would have been a pair of ankle socks in any
colour, maybe with a little picture or some
stripes or something to add a little variation.

What type of sock are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

random thingy

2005-10-20T17:00:00.000-04:00

shvad: i have to get ready 4 band! have u seen my sax anywhere?
vlad: iunno...have u seen my flute?
shvad: wat? u instrument is missing too?
vlad: yeah!
shvad& vlad: poobles!!!!!!!

(btw, poobles is their dog, and shvad actually plays a sax, and vlad actually plays a flute)

ha! ...stupid mural!}:{D

2005-10-19T15:51:00.000-04:00

}:{D- thats my uni guy with a moustache laughing like a maniac...

i have 2 paint this stupid mural of the rattray marsh with voobl....and we keep on messing things up...haha }:{D }:{D do u find that scary?

on the busss....

2005-10-19T15:36:00.000-04:00

ok...heres wat u have to do...try to guess wat happened on the bus today using the words below(they are in chronological order, if u dont no wat chronological means, it means they are in order from the first thing that happened to the last)

voobl
bus
slippery seat
bus turns
slid
window
metal
hit
ow ow
haha

its pretty easy....

highlighters

2005-10-18T16:15:00.000-04:00

why? why do the call them HIGH lighters????? i get the lighters part, but technically u can translate that into several different meanings-for example, lighters- they can by cigarette lighters, matches are also a form of "lighters" and yeah , when i think or lighters, i think of fire, ...so ..r highlighters supposed to set things on fire? ..the list goes on...., if u dont no the word, u wont no wat it means.

and the high part -the weird part-...when i think of high, i think of people getting high on something, so... we'll get "high" if we sniff it(well, if we like the smell, and we all no that highlighters have no smell)???

shvad & vlad

2005-10-17T15:53:00.000-04:00

shvad: (knock knock) vlad, how come ur skull is empty?
vlad: iunno
shvad:...hehe hehe vlad has an empty skull!
vlad:no i dont! i bet i can find something in there!
shvad: fine! do it!
vlad:( reaches inside the nose and ..yeah..) hey! i found something!
shvad: ..wat?
vlad: uh...i think they're letters frum my brain..." vlad,i am going to go look for a new owner, and on the way, i will"get lost" and never come back, lefty" and this one says" vlad, im going to go look for lefty...he said he got lost...righty"
shvad: u have a weird brain....
vlad: at least u've got one!

BLAGHH!

2005-10-14T08:41:00.000-04:00

barfing is not fun, u feel as if ur stomach has turned inside out, and if that really nasty bitter yellow comes out , its not a good sign. ha! i get to stay home today!!! ha! (thats one good thing about being sick!) ha!!! muhahahahahahaha!!!!!! -i have chosen a barf yellow for this blog.

HAPPY B-DAY VOOBL!!!!

2005-10-13T15:46:00.000-04:00

TODAY IS VOOBL'S B-DAY!

GO 2 WWW.ZEBUBABEERS.BLOGSPOT.COM TO WISH HER A HAPPY BDAY!

teachers' dictionary

2005-10-12T19:53:00.000-04:00

keep going...: just stop , cause im not really listening..lalalalala

so , wat else can u tell us about ur topic?: ya done yet?

wat time does this period end?: please, LET ME GO! (so i can have a donut)

good job...u must have worked REALLY HARD!: slacking again i see?

umm....hehe

2005-10-11T16:54:00.000-04:00

theres like nothing to say..hehe
chocolate almonds r soooo good! i bought a box, and i ate it in like 5 seconds....fine, u dont wanna listen? fine, go do ur homework then!!!>:((im mad) (actually no im not, i just have these really quick mood swings)

the bubabeers' teachers' dictionary

2005-10-11T15:41:00.000-04:00

u no when u like do a presentation and the teacher says "well done!" but the next day u find out u get an F? well, to prepare urself, i , shloob, and voobl have come up with a teachers' dictionary. these r the vocab we have so far, not in alphabetical order!

well done!(and u had a HORRIBLE presentation): u call that a presentation?! F!

that was VERY well done(and they actually sounded impressed): good job..:)

ok...thank you: u stunk, F!!!!!

thats all i have so far, and well, thats mostly wat teachers say, and if the wording is similar, well then, its like probably one of these!

shvad &vlad conversation

2005-10-09T14:06:00.000-04:00

shvad:hey vlad, have u seen the stove?...
vlad: uh...wats a stove?
shvad:u no, the thing i cook ur FOOD wif!
vlad:...OH! ..uh ..right..yeah..um...no..i havent eate--, i mean seen it...
shvad:o ok, ...wait a minute...i no that look on ur face! ur bloated!!!
vlad:no im not!(burpppp) oops?
shvad: alright this is the last time! get out! or i kill u!!!!
vlad: no u wont, rmb, i ate ur piano
shvad: o yeah...well , um...hehe...i ate ur homework..french homework...haha
vlad: WAT? IT TOOK ME AN HOUR! UR GONNA PAY!
shvad: no im not, cuz im running AWAY!!!! or in french...AILLEURS!!!

story is FINALLY DONE!

2005-10-07T15:54:00.000-04:00

u no the story that started wif"the lights blew out?" well its finally done, and if u havent read part 6(www.zebubabeers.blogspot.com), then , well, u should. u can expect another story from me and voobl, my "buttie"(budd, if u didnt get that) and ass'ociate, sooooon. our stupidity is strongest on fridays, which is today. anyway, its gonna have the same layout, sortof, like i do one part and voobl does another. ... so...yeah...keep in touch...and dont stop visiting our "sister websites"

cosmic four

2005-10-07T15:46:00.000-04:00

i can make any number that u say equal four.

for example: 53 : 53 is 10, 10 is 3 , 3 is 4, 4 is COSMIC!
another example?: 1034 is 21, 21 is 9, 9 is 4, four is COSMIC!
OR: 66 is 8, 8 is 5, 5 is 4, 4 is COSMIC!

THINK U CAN FIGURE IT OUT? (this is really easy, and if ur cant , ur probably thinking too hard! if u already no it, do me a favour and dont burst my bubble)

write to me if u think u have figured it out!:)

dialog between shvad and vlad

2005-10-03T16:09:00.000-04:00

shvad:wat r u doing?
Vlad:um...nothing?
shvad:why does my tv have teeth marks on it then?
Vlad: iunno, ur dog bit it?
shvad: i dont HAVE a dog!
Vlad:ok fine! i was trying to chew it!
shvad: ur crazy! im gonna kill u!
Vlad:no ur not! cuz im running away!
(vlad runs away)
shvad:O , BY THE WAY, I ATE UR COMPUTER!

garfield

2005-10-03T15:58:00.000-04:00

garfield comics are AWESOME!!!! like , usually , im not into comic books, but, seriously, if u dont like garfield's sarcasm and sense of reality, then , ur wierd.
odie, jon , nermal, arlene....u get the picture.

the flu/commom cold

2005-10-03T15:49:00.000-04:00

stuffy nose, head ache, sore throat= a cold, if u + a fever to that, then u've got the flu. aaa...terrifying...(my sarcasm, if u didnt no wat that was) anyway, my entire class has like , a cold, one went home today with a headache, ow...my head hurts. i've used like, an entire kleenex box already....anyway, if u've got the cold or flu, yay...ur a part of the "club"...anyway...i g2g blow my nose again...

2005-10-01T20:39:00.000-04:00

do u like happy bunny....

happy bunny is very happy
happybunny is full of insults
happybunny is crazy
happybunny is AWESOME

so...do u like happy bunny

(im so bored right now)

2005-10-01T16:26:00.000-04:00

part 5 because the ukraine disappeared, russia accused canada of robbing its neighbouring citizens and then blowing up the country.(of course, u did that, but no one else needs to no....) so....because they like to fight, they started WWIII. ooeeeeee....!!! (war cry...figures) they are led by somebody named Sahibb Sidiquii(if ur name just HAPPENS to be Sahibb Sidiquii, no offence , well , we never actually meant any offence, but....we'll stop here, cause this can take all afternoon...) , the reincarnation of hitler... huh...weird....anyway, u want to help(canada, of course) and uh....by the way, u moved to the south pole because the OTHER place was just too WARM for those ukrainians(no offence ukrainians). so...uh...back to the story..: u were "sailing" for no apparent reason(via toilet), and suddenly, u get clogged. u hack ur way through the tubes, and land in the lost city of atlantis(well, its not lost anymore because u just found it! but...no ones gunna believe u, ...just like all the other times, well , it was just the book ., but still, at least u wont have to write another book! {yay}) u gather up the atlantians, and they agree to fight for canada, since they have so many similarities with the first nations(putting paint on ur face, for example). they fight, and...uh...yeah....u no wat a fight would look like at the end, all bloody, and "messy"...normally, u LOVE a fight, but , if u die, then underworld would be taken over by some 'UNIQUE" cousin of sahibb sadiquii: sahibb sahibb-wierd, and...no its not a printing error. so...yeah...u stay and watch the fight on satellite.and ur world continues to grow...muhahaha... end of part 5, go to www.zebubabeers.blogspot.com for the 6th part....which is the last part..maybe...maybe...:)

2005-09-27T14:30:00.000-04:00

to all u short ppls out there that think being tall is WAYYYY BETTER than being short: FYI , ITS NOTTT being tall means tripping over things (or ppl) shorter than u like a million times a day(trust me, im considered tall, and just this morning, i tripped over my backpack , this short gr 6 kid, a chair, and lots of other things, trust me tripping is NOT FUN! JUST ask my associate vooblwww.zebubabeers.blogspot.com, and ...uh..yeah, now back to main topic). also, when u look at ppl shorter than u, all u see is their forehead, and if they have REAL LY SERIOUS acne, then it wouldnt be nice... and u have to hunch all the time, and no one wants to be the hunchback of notredame #2. and u tend to hit ur head on a lot of things too. if ur tall, good 4 u , but my main message being: IF UR SHORT, AND SOMEONE TAL L MAKES FUN OF U, OR UR JUST FEELING SAD CUS UR SHORT, READ THIS AGAIN AND U WONT BE SAD. -by the way, write in to tell me wat u think about this post... this is from shoolb but she can't post for awhile cuz her computer's busted

2005-09-21T19:08:00.000-04:00

PART 3 of a story that started randomly with: the street lights blew out...

now ur back at the toilet, staring , and wondering,"wat the heck just happened????" but suddenly , ur back on that island again!!! weird!!!! u demand to be sent back , and they listened to u, wow, ...they actually listened..... now, who wants donuts?! anyway, back to the story, ur back , still staring at the toilet, ....and u wonder if anything that extraordinary would happen again..... u decide to write a story about ur "adventures", and it got published, although u have no idea how with a story that bad,...no...seriously...it was AWFUL! anyway, everyone thinks ur nuts and they decide to lock u in an asylum in transelvannia(im not sure if i spelt that right)....an everyday, u eat the padding in ur padded room....pretty sad....BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS, THERES A PART 4, VISIT www.zebubabeers.blogspot.com for the fourth part!

2005-09-19T14:12:00.000-04:00

you have already been introduced to vlad and svad right? and you've seen what happens when vlad eats svad's sock right? now see what happens when vlad eats svad's piano

s:i hate u
v:i hate u more
s:no u dont u ate my piano
v:isnt that abad thing?
s:pfft no all is forgiven
v:well this is probably a good time to tell you i ate your socks....
s:VAT?!

and now you know what would happen if vlad ate svad's piano...

2005-09-18T22:44:00.000-04:00

the street lamp blew out, the car crashed violently into...?...anyway, u were sent flying out the window, ....now we take a coffee break... now, u see, u hadnt done enough good deeds to get into heaven...and the OTHER place was in a mix-up, and u werent quite DEAD ...yet..., so...yeah, bak to the thingy , theres a giant hole in the ground, nd theres a guy with horns standing on little hooves staring at u and laughing like a maniac... muhahahahahahaha,.....u get the pic....5 lil minions grabbed u and u choked them allllllll! which makes u just as bad as satan. ur sent bak... and then... well....i'll tell u next time... or.....visit... zebubabeers.blogspot.com...for the next bit...

2005-09-18T22:38:00.000-04:00

vlad and shvad r 2 very WEIRD ppls, vlad, being my fine associate, and "butty", voobl, is spelt, v-l-a-d, as u might have known..... anyway, this is a NORMAL conversation between them:
s: i hate u! v:i hate u more! s: u ate my sock! v:huh??? s:u ate my sock! v: noooo......i ate u sockSSSSSS s: wat? stripy? noooo!!!!! v:ha! i vin!!!! s: noooo!!!!!! v:haha, muhaha and shvad, being me, myself, and i , is very upset.....

2005-08-29T12:59:00.000-04:00

hey peoples! (who actually have time to read this)!!

sup?! as u probably no, this is the first ever issue of the bubaronicles. yay!!! its not actually a newspaper , but watever. anyways , like i was saying , this is the first ever issue, and i want to say to those that are reading this, thanx.

ur probably wondering why (or maybe ur not, but then again im not psychic so i wouldnt no) i started the whole thing, and let me tell u the miserable truth, I DONT KNOW! or as the french would say, je ne sais pas ! haha! maybe i thought it might be fun to post stuff, but let me tell u this, this content is SOOO random that u will probably get sooo confused that u will stop reading and rub ur head.:p

ICE CREAM

ice cream is like the greatest invention ever! i've had, hmm... lets see, strawberry, vanilla, natural vanilla, chocolate, vanilla& chocolate, checkered, chocolate chips, neapolitan, golden maple walnut, cookies'n'creme, mint, mint chocolate chip, caramel, egg nogg(ew), fudge, and strawberry cheese-cake flavoured ice cream. have u ever tried pouring coke into ur icecream? it doesnt taste that bad actually, u get this sweet foam.quite interesting. try it if u dare!

JUICE

THERES ONLY ONE THING I HAVE TO SAY, NEVER PUT MORE THAN HALF A TEASPOON OF BAKING SODA INTO UR JUICE IF UR MAKING A SODA, IT WILL TASTE REALLY SALTY IF U DO!! ADDING SUGAR JUST MAKES IT TASTE EVEN MORE GROSS!!!!!!!!but if u like gross stuff , then u can try it, but dont say i didnt warn you!!!!!!!!

SCHOOL is starting in like 8 days, r u ready? ur probably moaning and groaning because u hate work, but still, its just 190 more days till summer vacation right?:)

-anyway, i have to say good-bye now, this is just the first miserable issue of the bubaronicles, u'll be hearing from be l8tr! thanx again for reading! :D

The Bubabeers

OH GOD! THE TEETH! THE TEETH!

Insanigarden

The Agendus Bookus

"happiness in a toilet bowl"

Vlad, Taxidermist*?

water water water

*hug*

AYE. a tale of the high seas!

SHVAD DAY!!

VLADMAS continued...-ishh.

all i want for vladmas is the right-hemishpere of my brain!!

*makes gestures*

the very beginnings

punctumacation

HAPPY ONE YEAR...and18 days

oh lord, not another shvad and vlad story

vlad... well. makes sense!

...there are no words to describe this.

some stuff...

shvad goes mental

the lady in the stupid

wise-ness

"VLAG"

woah

"vlan"

Dear Jamie, the epilogue

Shvad and Vlad get a computer

A world where toenail clippings are patented

so long Jimmy, the prequel to 'Dear Jamie'

Dear Jamie..

non-laughing matters...seriously.

bubabeeric confessions *note*these ARENT all true

aspriations...

fridge magnets

teehee

march break

Shvad and Vlad have guests!!

the bubabeeric word of the day: BLELLOW

Shloob's trial

tisk tisk shloob

vlad and shvad and a mistaken identity

a story...i hope

The Adventures of Tractor Plowman and Chuckberry Fishh : based loosely on the stories by Mark Twain

HAPPY B-DAY MOZART!!

vlad's birthday

an optimist's life in a pessimist's world - part 1

while we were at LORNE PARK

...just a post...

vlad and shvad's holidays

50TH'S POST!!! GET EXCITED!!!! ITS A REUNION!!!!

shvad buys a car!!! (o lord)

vlad and shvad go on a vacation

vlad and shvad go camping

another valad and shvad

shvad& vlad

sneakers

nirds

we need to eat 2-4 servings of GRASS everyday!!!

VOOBL NEWS!!

moving!! forsaking!!!

cheese and grass

if u were a sock...

dont mind her

hello there

the different stains of life

shvad & vlad

shvad & vlad halloween convo

happy halloween y'all!!!

Pricks

the tree

wat type of socks r u(shloob)

guess wat day it is?!?!?!?!?!?!

holepunchers

vlad and shvad

hmm wut type of sock r u?

random thingy

ha! ...stupid mural!}:{D

on the busss....

highlighters

hug

makes gestures

bubabeeric confessions notethese ARENT all true

cosmic four